Friday, March 29, 2013


TORONTO:  The significance and celebration of Pakistan Day is a very important part of lives of Pakistanis all over the world. Supporters including VIPs, distinguished personalities, dignitaries and friends join them and share the joyous moment.
Pakistan Day festivals, parties, national songs and debate competitions are featured throughout the day, which sees many people spend time with families, friends and loved ones.  Pakistan Day specials are broadcast on radio and TV. Special prayers are offered for peace and prosperity.
 Pakistan Day is a public holiday in Pakistan to remember the Lahore Resolution on March 23 each year. The Lahore Resolution is considered a major milestone in the Muslim struggle for an independent state in undivided India.
In a Muslim League annual session in 1930, Allama Muhammad Iqbal, a poet and philosopher, put forward the ideal of Muslims being a separate nation. Muhammad Iqbal is accredited for weaving the Two-Nation theory, an ideology that eventually made the creation of Pakistan possible.
The Two-Nation theory stated that Hindus and Muslims were from two different nations. Muslim culture, tradition, religion, ideology, morals and language were all distinctly different from Hindu ideals. Both nations (Hindus and Muslims) shared mutually contradicting beliefs. Therefore, an autonomous state consisting of Muslim majority areas of British India was demanded to protect Muslims’ political, social and cultural rights.
In a Muslim League general session from March 22 to March 24, 1940, Pakistan’s founder Muhammad Ali Jinnah and other party leaders unanimously rejected the idea of united India, endorsed the Two-Nation Theory and called for a separate Muslim homeland. The Lahore Resolution was supported by all major Muslim Leaders of the time. Pakistan gained independence from British rule on August 14, 1947. March 23 became a day to commemorate the Lahore Resolution of 1940, which eventually led to the creation of Pakistan.     
Pakistan High Commission, Pakistan Consulates and Pakistanis living in Canada too organized memorable events to celebrate the occasion and highlight the importance of the day.
            The Canadian Association of Pakistani Origin (CAPO) organized Pakistan Day Celebration on Sunday, March 24, 2013, at the Greek Community Centre, 30 Thorncliffe Park Drive, Toronto. 
            The Thorncliffe Park Drive locality is one of the most important arenas of political contest in Canada. It comprises mostly Muslims of South Asia region. Majority of them are highly educated, civilized, cultured and enjoyed very good positions, status and reputation back home. Their tremendous contributions, talent, skills, capabilities and abilities, because of which they qualified for immigration to Canada, speak for them.  
Unfortunately, due to reasons and logics best known to the policymakers, rulers and leaders, Canada, despite demands and best efforts for recognition, has failed to utilize and benefit from their services, experiences and contributions. They are struggling very hard and contributing in the best possible manner to earn proper recognition and become an important part of the mainstream and society as a good, respectable and responsible citizen.
            Because of large number of Pakistanis and Muslims of India, Afghanistan and other countries residing here, it is also famous as Mini-Pakistan and Islamic Republic of Thorncliffe.  
Premier of Ontario Kathleen Wynne, who is also the MPP of Don Valley West area in which Thorncliffe Park Drive falls, was the chief guest on the occasion. She enjoys great respect and popularity in the community due to her tremendous contributions and close attachment with the people. Unlike others who remain invisible and out of reach, she is accessible, remembers and loves serving the people. 
Other dignitaries, who attended the celebration,  included the new Consul General of Pakistan in Toronto, Muhammad Nafees Zakaria, Syed Akbar Adil Shah, Counsellor, Community Affairs, and Asghar, Vice Consul, of Pakistan Consulate,  John Carmichael, MP, Michael Prue, MPP, Shafiq Qadri, MPP, John Parker, Councillor, Melvin John, Geoff Kettel, Lisa Grogan-Green, Gerri Gershon, TDSB Trustee, Marjorie Hiley, Executive Director, Flemingdon Community Legal Services, Rob Oliphant, ex-MP, Khalid Usman, ex-Councillor,  Syed Aziz Nizami, Sajjada Nashin, Dargah Hazrat Nizamuddin Aulia (RA), and Rafique Memon, Environmental Technologist in Canada and an important bureaucrat (NAB in Pakistan).        
The gathering was large, including mostly women and children, and the hall packed.  Members of the Seniors Club/Circle, based at TNO Youth Centre and supported by the TNO, also joined the celebration with the objective and belief that all bodies, organizations, leaders and members are branches of the same tree called community. They share the same trunk, root and the ground. This should be the spirit of cooperation, collaboration, love, care, help and support.     
The program included Video titled `Vibrant Pakistan’, slide show from past CAPO events, recitation and translation of the Holy Quran by Azeeb Uddin, national anthems of Pakistan and Canada and some songs by Daniyal Wani, documentary on Malala Yusufzai, national songs (Shujat Ali) and dances, Punjabi Bhangra, welcome speech by Nawal Ateeq, speeches by dignitaries and others, poetry presentation by Major Muhammad Wani, cultural dress show, award presentations, moment of silence (Candle performance) and vote of thanks by Mazhar Shafiq. Refreshment was served to the guests.
The CAPO Youth Committee, which organized the 23rd March Event 2013---Pakistan Day Resolution, included Sana Khan, Daniyal Wani, Hufsa Akbar, Nida Hasan, Yumna Azeem, Uroosha Lailun, Aaysha Wani and Ahmed Mazhar
People enjoyed the music, songs, Punjabi Bhangras and other presentations but were shocked that in all the speeches, including by dignitaries and hosts, the significance and importance of Pakistan Day was not touched. They kept waiting till the last to hear something but were disappointed when it was neither mentioned nor discussed.
One of the guests, an ex-senior military officer in Pakistan and now a Canadian citizen, felt very bad, contacted Nawal Ateeq of CAPO and protested to her about this. When nothing happened he then wrote a strong protest note addressing the new Consul General, Muhammad Nafees Zakaria, and Dr Shafiq Qadri, MPP, and went to present the same to them. Since the Consul General had left, he informed Syed Akbar Adil Shah about this and handed the note to Dr Shafiq Qadri.
   Many other guests felt the same and were disappointed.  They surrounded me and said that the media must take serious note of all such acts. They hoped that the CAPO and all other organizations and organizers must understand the significance and importance of all such occasions and highlight them accordingly---with great respect and proper manner.
It is the responsibility of the organizers to make sure that the presentations match the dignity of the theme and program. People love Pakistan very much and attend the events with the same love, spirit and respect.  They have great spiritual and emotional attachment with their motherland and feel very bad and hurt when the country and people are not paid proper respect.
 The CAPO Team has good team leaders, volunteers and supporters. It is playing an important role in the community including cultural, social and political fields and emerging as a strong force. The most visible and dominant ones in CAPO are Wani Family and Mazhar Shafiq Family and their supporters.
People who keep monitoring activities, bodies and leaders feel that CAPO should remove the impression of some families’ affair and recognition and promotion of some and same families only. They say that other competent ones in the community should be brought forward who can help CAPO and the team become stronger and more effective. It is in the interest of CAPO and the community. No doubt the Wani Family, Mazhar Shafiq and their supporters are the backbone of CAPO and play an important role in its progress and success. 
The community media too must focus more on the community events, affairs and promotion and prominently highlight them in a positive and constructive manner. The wastage of precious space on prominent coverage of dirty politics of corrupt Pakistani leaders and rulers must stop. People are not interested, fed up and instead get frustrated. The media must change the policies if it wants to change the mindset and really guide and serve the people.
---Javed Zaheer, Free Expression Award Winner, Desi Idol Recognition Award Winner, Member/Honorary Director of NEPMCC, Veteran Active Member (VAM) of Toronto Press Club, Ex-Member of The National Club and The Ontario Club, Honorary Editor of English Weekly `Pakistan Abroad’, ex-Chief Editor (Honorary) of English Weekly `The Ambassador’, ex-Senior Sub-Editor of English Daily DAWN, Pakistan, Chairman, CANOPI, and Director, Canpak Camber of Commerce, is contributing purely on Voluntary and Honorary Basis in order to serve all people and communities. Contact: (416)696-0981/ To read more JZ’s exclusive articles, please visit: www. and (Editorial Sections. Scan years from 2004 to 2011. Visit

Tuesday, March 26, 2013


Sex as Sadaqa (Charity) with the wife
(He is a new convert to Islam, from the Netherlands)


An excerpt from 'The Muslim Marriage Guide', By Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood (Amana Publications).

"Women shall have rights similar to the rights upon them; according to what is equitable and just; and men have a degree of advantage over them." (Quran, 2:216)
They do indeed! This passage of the Holy Quran was revealed in connection with the rights of women following a divorce, but it also has a general sense. One basic right of every person taking on a contract never to have sex other than with their own legitimate partner is that each spouse should therefore provide sexual fulfillment (imta') to the other, as part of the bargain.
Now, every man knows what sexual things please him--but some men, particularly those who have not been married before and are therefore lacking experience, don't seem to know much about how to give the same pleasure to the woman; even worse, some men do know but they can't be bothered to make the effort. Yet this is vital if a marriage is to succeed and not just be a disappointing burden for the woman, and it is a vital part of one's Islamic duty.
It is not acceptable for a Muslim man just to satisfy himself while ignoring his wife's needs. Experts agree that the basic psychological need of a man is respect, while that of a woman is love. Neither respect nor love are things that can be forced--they have to be worked for, and earned. The Prophet (s) stated that in one's sexual intimacy with one's life partner there is sadaqa (worship through giving):
Allah's Messenger (pbuh) said: "In the sexual act of each of you there is a sadaqa." The Companions replied: "O Messenger of Allah! When one of us fulfils his sexual desire, will he be given a reward for that?" And he said, "Do you not think that were he to act upon it unlawfully, he would be sinning? Likewise, if he acts upon it lawfully he will be rewarded." (Muslim)
This hadith only makes sense if the sexual act is raised above the mere animal level.
What is the magic ingredient that turns sex into sadaqa, that makes it a matter of reward or punishment from Allah? It is by making one's sex life more than simple physical gratification; it is by thought for pleasing Allah by unselfish care for one's partner. A husband that cannot understand this will never be fully respected by his wife.
Neither spouse should ever act in a manner that would be injurious or harmful to their conjugal life. Nikah is the sacred tie between husband and wife, that sincere and devoted love without which they cannot attain happiness and peace of mind.
"Of His signs is this: that He created for you spouses that you might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy." (Quran, 30:21)
Now, every Muslim knows that a man has a right on his wife. However, because nikah is a contract never to seek sexual satisfaction outside the marriage bond, Islam commands not only the women but the men in this respect, and makes it clear that if a husband is not aware of the urges and needs of his wife, he will be committing a sin by depriving her of her rights.
According to all four orthodox jurists, it is incumbent upon the husband to keep his wife happy and pleased in this respect. Likewise, it is essential for the wife to satisfy the desire of the husband. Neither should reject the other, unless there is some lawful excuse.
Now, it is fairly easy for a woman to satisfy a man and make herself available to him, even if she is not really in the mood. It is far harder for a man to satisfy a woman if he is not in the mood, and this is where an important aspect of male responsibility needs to be brought to every Muslim man's attention, and stressed strongly.
The jurists believed that a woman's private parts needed "protecting" (tahsin). What they meant was that it was important for a Muslim husband to satisfy his wife's sexual needs so that she would not be tempted to commit zina out of despair or frustration.
A Muslim wife is not merely a lump of flesh without emotions or feelings, just there to satisfy a man's natural urges. On the contrary, her body contains a soul no less important in God's sight than her husband's. Her heart is very tender and delicate, and crude or rough manners would hurt her feelings and drive away love. The husband would be both foolish and immoral to act in any way unpalatable to her natural temperament, and a man selfishly seeking his own satisfaction without considering that of his wife is a selfish boor. In fact, according to a hadith:
"Three things are counted as inadequacies in a man. Firstly, meeting someone he would like to get to know, and taking leave of him before learning his name and his family. Secondly, rebuffing the generosity that another shows to him. And thirdly, going to his wife and having intercourse with her before talking to her and gaining her intimacy, satisfying his need from her before she has satisfied her need from him." (Daylami)
This is another of the things implied by the saying that one's wife is "a tilth unto you." (Quran, 2:223) The imagery is that of a farmer taking care of his fields. According to Mawlana Abul-Ala Mawdudi:
"The farmer sows the seed in order to reap the harvest, but he does not sow it out of season or cultivate it in a manner which will injure or exhaust the soil. He is wise and considerate, and does not run riot." (Afzalur Rahman, Quranic Sciences, London 1981, p.285)
Likewise, in the case of husband and wife, the husband should not just:
“Take hold of his wife and rub the seed and finish the business of procreation. The damage in this case could sometimes be irreparable, because a woman, unlike a farm, is very sensitive and has emotions, feelings, and strong passions which need full satisfaction and attention in a proper and appropriate manner.” (Afzalur Rahman, Quranic Sciences, London 1981, p. 286)
If this is not taken into consideration, and the wife is not properly prepared to start lovemaking, or is unsatisfied when it is finished, there could be many psychological and physiological complications leading to frigidity and other abnormalities. Indeed, many husbands eventually become disappointed with their wives, believing them to be frigid or unable to respond to their activities (unlike the sirens on the film or TV screen), and they wonder what is wrong with them. A possible explanation will follow in a moment.
Allah created male and female from a single soul in order that man might live with her in serenity (Quran, 7:189), and not in unhappiness, frustration and strife. If your marriage is frankly awful, then you must ask yourself how such a desperate and tragic scenario could be regarded by anyone as "half the Faith." According to a hadith:
"Not one of you should fall upon his wife like an animal; but let there first be a messenger between you." "And what is that messenger?" they asked, and he replied: "Kisses and words." (Daylami)
These "kisses and words" do not just include foreplay once intimacy has commenced. To set the right mood, little signals should begin well in advance, so that the wife has a clue as to what is coming, and is pleasantly expectant, and also has adequate time to make herself clean, attractive and ready. As regards intimacy itself, all men know that they cannot achieve sexual fulfillment if they are not aroused. They should also realise that it is actually harmful and painful for the female organs to be used for sex without proper preparation. In simple biological terms, the woman's private parts need a kind of natural lubrication before the sexual act takes place. For this, Allah has created special glands, known to modern doctors as the Bartholin glands, which provide the necessary "oils."
It is still possible to read old-fashioned advice to husbands that a desirable wife should be "dry"--which is remarkable ignorance and makes one really grieve for the poor wives of such inconsiderate men. Just as no one would dream of trying to run an engine without the correct lubricating fluids, it is the same, through the creative will of Allah, with the parts of the female body designed for sexual intimacy. A husband should know how to stimulate the production of these "oils" in his wife, or at the very least allow her to use some artificial "oils." This lack of knowledge or consideration is where so many marital problems frequently arise.
As Imam al-Ghazali says: "Sex should begin with gentle words and kissing," and Imam al-Zabidi adds: "This should include not only the cheeks and lips; and then he should caress the breasts and nipples, and every part of her body." (Zabidi, Ithaf al-Sada al Muttaqin, V 372) Most men will not need telling this; but it should be remembered that failure to observe this Islamic practice is to neglect or deny the way Allah has created women.
Insulting a wife with bad marital manners
Firstly, a husband must overcome his shyness enough to actually look at his wife, and pay attention to her. If he cannot bring himself to follow this sunna, it is an insult to her, and extremely hurtful. Personal intimacy is a minefield of opportunities to hurt each other--glancing at the watch, a yawn at the wrong moment, appearing bored, and so on. A husband's duty is to convince his wife that he does love her--and this can only be done by word (constantly repeated word, I might add--such is the irritating nature of women!), and by looking and touching.
Many people believe that the expression in the eyes reveals much of the human soul. Certainly the lover's gaze is a most endearing and treasured thing. Many wives yearn for that gaze of love, even after they have been married for years. If you cannot bring yourself to look at her while paying attention to her, she can only interpret this as a sign that you do not really love her. And even though it may be irritating to you, and seem quite superfluous, most women are deeply moved when a man actually tells her that he loves her.
Sex is clean!
A modest upbringing is part of good character. The Prophet (s) himself said: "Modesty brings nothing but good." (Bukhari and Muslim) But another, also important, part of Islamic teaching says that all of Allah's creation is beautiful and pure, particularly when it is part of the body of human beings, who are designed as His deputies upon the earth. In some religions, people traditionally believed that the woman's private parts are in some way unclean, or dirty, or even evil.
        Courtesy: on behalf of Syed Abdul Bais (


No Muslim man can force his wife into sex!
(He is a new convert to Islam, from the Netherlands)

If a man calls his wife   to bed and she refuses, and then he sleeps angry, the angels shall curse her until he awakens.” [an unquestionably authentic hadith, related by both Bukhari and Muslims, as well as numerous others]

Islam is an religion of peace, and honours women. There are many hadith about the good treatment of women.

Unfortunately some igonarant muslim men think they can force their wives to have sex with them. They argue that ‘since it is obligatory for a women to respond to her husbands call to have sex , they can force their wives to have sex with them if they refuse their request’

This is wrong and this sort of behaviour has no place in Islam!

Refuting their weak argument (and explaining the hadith in question):

If something is obligatory to do for a muslim, does this mean we are allowed to force a muslim to do so, if he/she doesnt perform the obligated things in Islam.

Like for example, it is obligatory for a muslim to pray 5 times a day, does this mean we can force and abuse/ torture a muslim to peform his prayer?

If someone doesnt fast during Ramadan, are we muslims allowed to force him to do? Of course not. The prophet (swa) never forced anyone to do something.

We know it is obligatory for a person to follow the religion of Islam if he/she wants to get to Jannah, so can we (even out of love or mercy)  force non-muslims into islam?

2:256 There is no compulsion in religionfor the right way is clearly from the wrong way. Whoever therefore rejects the forces of evil and believes in God, he has taken hold of a support most unfailing, which shall never give way, for God is All Hearing and Knowing.

So Allah swt makes clear that we cannot force others to our religion. So if we can’t force non-muslims to islam (to save them from hell) then how can it be allowed to force our own brothers and sisters in islam to do certain religious dutys? Off course we must warn them for committing a sin, and we are obligated to help them and to forbid them what is wrong, but every person in islam is responsible for his own deeds, at the end it’s a persons own choice to decide which thing to do, as muslims brothers and sisters we have to do all we can to save them from sins or evil deeds, but we can’t force them. It’s their own choice which thing to do at the end. Allah swt will judge us on our intentions, a persons real intention comes only out when there is free-will and free-choice in religion. Thats why Allah swt allowed free-will and free-choice in Islam (Allah swt knows best)

So when the prophet said:  "If a man invites his wife to sleep with him and she refuses, then the angels send their curses on her till morning “
Does this mean the husband can force his wive into sex/marital rape ? Noooooooo!
The wife clearly knows that she is wrong, when she rejects her husband request (she should fullfil his sexuel needs). But the husband can’t compulse or force his wife into sex/marital rape. The husband has the right to insist that she should fullfil his right, and the husband has the right to be angry at her for this (in a proper way), even the husband has the right to divorce her when she repeatedly refuses his request, however he still hasn’t the right in Islam to force her into sex/marital rape !, if he had the right to do, then certainly the prophet would mention it, but the prophet didn’t. The reason for this is that forcing someone doesn’t belong and doesn’t fit in the peacefull teachings of Islam.

Islam is clear about rules and punishment. For major sins like fornication , rape,  murder and theft , there are physical punishments. However when it comes to issues like ‘not performing the 5 daily prayers’ or ‘not fasting during ramadan’ or ‘not fullfilling the sexual needs of one’s spouse’ etc. then a person will be held responsible for his own deeds on the day of judgement. Allah swt will judge a person by his own deeds, all the sins committed by the person during his earthly life will count in his judgement by Allah swt, based on this Allah swt (and not the husband !) will decide which reward and/or which punishment a person will get.

Further the hadith in question clearly states at the end: “If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in angerthe angels will curse her till the morning.”

So no where in the hadith, is the husband giving any right to force his wife into sex, instead the hadith clearly mentions, that when the husband spends the night in anger (this is another proof that makes clear that a husband can’t force his wife to have sex, because how can a husband spend the night in anger sexually depressed, if he had the right and could force his wive to fullfill his sexuel needs?? This cleary poofs that a muslim husband doesn’t have the right to force his wife into sex with him) , the angels will curse his wife (with curse is ment: Allah swt wont hear or answer her prayer till the morning) ,  so the punishment for the wife’s sin is clearly mentioned in the hadith, the angels will curse her ( her prayer won’t be heard by Allah swt) , no where does the hadith gives any idea of forcing or physical punishment.


It is well know that forcing someone to sex in almost all cases goes together with bringing physcial and/or emotional harm to a person, if a husband beats/scares his wife to force her to have sex, then he clearly abuses his wife physical and emotional. In this case the husband will commit a major sin, he’s violating the sunnah of the prophet swa and the law of Allah swt in the Quran:

There shall be no infliction of harm on oneself or others". (Related by Al-Daraqutni, Ibn Majah and Ahmad.)
O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may take away part of the dower [money given by the husband to the wife for the marriage contract] ye have given them, except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good (Qu’ran An-nisa 19)
  • A muslim husband is forbidden to harm or abuse his wife! He has to act kindly towards his wife:

Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) as saying: "He who believes in Allah and the Hereafter, if he witnesses any matter he should talk in good terms about it or keep quiet. Act kindly towards woman, for woman is created from a rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is its top. If you attempt to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, its crookedness will remain there. So act kindly towards women.  (Translation of Sahih Muslim, The Book of Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 008, Number 3468)" 

As we explained before, it is well known that forcing someone into sex in almost all cases goes together with physical and/or emotional harm, which is stricty forbidden in Islam.

  • A muslim husband should control his anger at his wife. Forcing someone into sex/martial rape is using anger! A husband should never act this way !

Narrated Abu Huraira: "A man said to the Prophet , 'Advise me! 'The Prophet said, 'Do not become angry and furious.' The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet said in each case, 'Do not become angry and furious.'   (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab), Volume 8, Book 73, Number 137)" 
Narrated Abu Huraira: "Allah's Apostle said, 'The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger.  (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab), Volume 8, Book 73, Number 135)"

  • In almost all cases (especially when it comes to sex) forcing someone into sex/marital rape goes together with: ‘cursing, or using bad words’
A Muslim would neither abuse nor speak bad words to, nor curse others.’ (Sahih Muslim)

  • the Prophet directed husbands how they should approach their wifes, He said: “None of you should fall upon his wife like an animal; but let there first be a messenger between you.” The Companions exclaimed, “What is that messenger?” The Prophet replied, “Kisses and (romantic) words!” (Reported by Al-Daylami)

It is impossible for a husband who forces his wife to have sex with him (marital rape) to approach her in this way. How can an angry forcing husband bring romance (romantic words ,kissing) and love to his wife by forcing her into sex ?  It’s obvious that a husband who forces his wife to have sex with him more resembles a wild animal then a romantic lover, the prophet clearly directed to the husbands: ‘None of you should fall upon his wife like an animal’

Imam Ibn al-Qayyim (Allah have mercy on him) reports in his famous “Tibb al-Nabawi” that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) forbade from engaging in sexual intercourse before foreplay. (See: al-Tibb al-Nabawi, 183, from Jabir ibn Abd Allah)

Sexual Rights of the Wife
Several hadith also address the issue of sexual satisfaction with reference to the wife's rights in this matter. The Prophet advised Abdullah bin Amr bin Al-As (who spent all day fasting and all night in prayer) to fast sometimes and not at other times; to pray at night and to sleep at night. "Your body has a right over you, your eyes have a right over you and your wife has a right over you." (Bukhari, Vol.7, No. 127) The wife's rights include a right to companionship from her husband and fulfillment of her sexual needs.

Rights of the Husband
The sexual rights of the husband are also elucidated in the traditions, but the language is such that it appears that his rights supersede those of his wife. For example, in Bukhari, AbuHuraira reports that the Prophet said, "If a man invites his wife to sleep with him and she refuses, then the angels send their curses on her till morning." (Vol. 7, No. 121-2; in Muslim, the text reads that God is displeased with her until the husband is pleased with her Nos. 3366-68).
Since the husband's urges are so strong, and to prevent him from acting out on them illicitly, a wife's duty therefore is to submit (but cannot be forced) in order to preserve the marriage. Yet, human beings are endowed with self control not seen in any other species, such that we do not act on every instinctual impulse because of some uncontrollable force. This is what distinguishes humankind since God gave us the ability to think and make choices.
Therefore, there is no justification for forcing women to have sex against their will, even in marriage. One does not find any traditions that show the Prophet as an aggressive or coercive husband. Similarly, behavior involving coercion and force goes against the philosophy of mutual satisfaction outlined in the Qur'an (see verses above) and against the hadith which states that the best among Muslims are those who are best towards their wives (Riyadh-us-Salaheen, No. 278). Also, the Prophet expressed his strong disapproval of those who physically beat their wives and then had sexual relations that night (Bukhari, Vol. 7, No. 132, Vol.9, 81-82; see also Riyadh us-Salaheen, No. 274).

Since we have proven that a husband can’t force his wife into sex ( he has to right to insist or demand,  but cannot force his wife, if his wife refuses, her prayer wont be heard by allah, if a wife repeatedly refuses her husbands request to join him in bed , then the husband has the right to divorce his wife instead of forcing his wife to sex , forcing a wife will only bring damage to a marriage relationship between spouses)

I also wanne point out that Islam is a religion of free will and free choice, forcing someone contradicts the concept of free-will and free-choice in Islam

surat Al-Isra', (Verse 15), , "Whoever goes right, then he goes right only for the benefit of his ownself. And whoever goes astray, then he goes astray to his own loss. No one laden with burdens can bear another’s burden…"

urat Fussilat, (Verse 46), what can be translated as, "Whosoever does righteous good deed it is for (the benefit of) his ownself, and whosoever does evil, it is against his ownself, and your Lord is not at all unjust to (His) slaves."

Finally i like to point out that Allah swt in the Quran commands ‘just behaviour’ and a husband should live with his wife ‘on a footing of kindness and equity’ , forcing a wife into sex /martial rape is clearly a sin and breaks Allah’s command ‘ live with them on a footing of kindness and equity’ , Allah swt will punsih the wrongdoers and injust people!

{O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may take away part of the dower [money given by the husband to the wife for the marriage contract] ye have given them, except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good.} ( Qu’ran An-nisa 19)

Allah swt does not stop at warning against corruption; he also points out the right way. He instructs the Prophet Say: My Lord has commanded you to be just (Quran 7:29), meaning to be fair and moderate in all matters without going into either extreme

Allah swt commands in the Qur'an: "O ye who believe! Stand out firmly for Allah, as witnesses to fair dealing, and let not the hatred of others to you make you swerve to wrong and depart from justice. Be just: that is next to Piety: and fear Allah. For Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do." [Quran ,Al-Maidah 5:8]

Tafsir Ibn Kathir on this verse:
Justice is Always Necessary
Allah said,
no_marital_rape_1.jpg (5036 bytes)
(and let not the hatred of some people in (once) stopping you from Al-Masjid Al-Haram (at Makkah) lead you to transgression (and hostility on your part).) The meaning of this Ayah is apparent, as it commands: Let not the hatred for some people, who prevented you from reaching the Sacred House in the year of Hudaybiyyah, make you transgress Allah's Law and commit injustice against them in retaliation. Rather, rule as Allah has commanded you, being just with every one. We will explain a similar Ayah later on,
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(And let not the enmity and hatred of others make you avoid justice. Be just: that is nearer to piety,) which commands: do not be driven by your hatred for some people into abandoning justice,for justice is ordained for everyone, in all situations.
"Allah commands justice, the doing Of good, and liberality to kith And kin, and He forbids All shameful deeds, and injustice And rebellion: He instructs you, That ye may receive admonition. (The Noble Quran, 16:90)"

Tafsir Ibn Kathir on this verse:
The Command to be Fair and Kind
Allah tells us that He commands His servant to be just, i.e., fair and moderate, and that He encourages kindness and good treatment.
Source:   and check chapter sixteen verse 90.

A muslim Husband must be ‘just’ to his wife (Allah swt commands justice! ), he has to be aware of the fact that Allah swt will judge him on his behaviour. Therefore a muslim husband who is ‘just’ does understand the fact that his wife not always can be capable to fullfill his sexuel needs, he can’t aspect from his wife to be ready for him 3 times a day, just because he has a need for sex 3 times a day, he has to be aware, that a women menthal and physical not always can be ready for him to satisfy his sexual needs , a women is an human being with feelings full of love and deep emotions, she’s not a lunp of flesh for his sexual lusts, in islam a wife is:

“This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this world is a righteous woman.” (Sahih Muslim 10/56, Kitab al-rida', bab istihbab nikah al-bikr.)
A ‘just’ husband has to be aware of the fact that his wife not always can be mental and physical capable to fullfill his sexual needs, therefore Allah swt commands us to be ‘just’ in the Quran  7:29. Further the prophet wanted to protect women against ‘unjust husbands/men’ who would abuse their rights and ignore their womens rights (like for example: just treatment and comfort etc, thats why he said:

The Prophet said: ”My Lord, I place particular importance on the rights of the two weak groups: orphans and women”  (Narrated by Al-Nasa’i following Abu Shourayh)

Riyad as Saliheen, chapter 33 (kindness to orphans, girls, the weak, the very poor .) , Nr. 270. Abu Shurayh Khuwaylid ibn 'Amr al-Khuza'i said, "The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, 'O Allah! I consider it a wrong action that the rights of two weak ones be violated: orphans and women." [an-Nasa'i]

So forcing a wife into sex /marital rape is clearly forbidden in Islam!

Narrated Jarir bin 'Abdullah:  "Allah's Apostle said, 'Allah will not be merciful to those who are not merciful to mankind.'  (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, ONENESS, UNIQUENESS OF ALLAH (TAWHEED), Volume 9, Book 93, Number 473)"
The Muslim needs to always be polite, humble, patient, loving and well mannered when he/she deals with others, whether they were Muslims or non-Muslims.  Allah Almighty certainly doesn't love those who are offensive and rude to others:
"Allah forbids you not, With regard to those who Fight you not for (your) Faith Nor drive you out Of your homes, From dealing kindly and justly With them: For Allah loveth Those who are just”  (The Noble Quran, 60:8)

Sources: The Noble Quran (yusuf ali) , Sunnah of the Prophet,  

Allah swt knowst best

If a man calls his wife   to bed and she refuses, and then he sleeps angry, the angels shall curse her until he awakens.” [an unquestionably authentic hadith, related by both Bukhari and Muslims, as well as numerous others]

The hadith in question can only be explained and understood as followed:
They are garments for you and you are garments for them.” [Qur’an, 2.187]

It is the nature of garments that they bring comfort, dignity, and keep one  from indecency and harm. This is how each spouse acts, emotionally, physically, and spiritually for the other.

Part of this is that each spouse is religiously expected to fulfill the sexual  needs of the other, such that their desires are brought into check, and they  are able to stay away from the haram, both major (such as fornication) and lesser  (such as looking at the unlawful, and thinking of the unlawful).

Sexual relations are vital in marriage. One of the scholars said, “Couples happy in bed are happy in their marriage.” One of the scholars in Syria said,  “The scholars today generally agree that one of the primary reasons for failed  marriages is failed sexual lives.” Western studies confirm this.

This is why the Shariah has made it obligatory for both spouses to fulfill the sexual needs of their spouse in marriage. This is understood, the scholars  say, from the abovementioned Qur’anic verse (2:187)

Ibn Abidin (Allah have mercy on him) says,

Among the rulings of marriage is that each spouse is allowed to derive sexual  pleasure from the other.” [ Radd al-Muhtar, 3.4]

For example: If the wife declines his desire to make love with her, he may be psychologically affected and experience physical ailments related to this (e.g. stimulation excitation, congestion and sexual suppression due to the lack of ejaculation).

In Islam both husband and wife have the right to fullfill each others sexual needs (see also page …). In case of the husbands right to sexual pleasure , he has to remember that:
The husband is expected to exercise even this right within the Qur’anic paradigm  of love and mercy.
It is in this context we must understand that the words of the Messenger  of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) that, “If a man calls his wife   to bed and she refuses, and then he sleeps angry, the angels shall curse her until he awakens.” [an unquestionably authentic hadith, related by both Bukhari and Muslims, as well as numerous others]
This is not a call to sexual abuse (or forcing someone into sex); rather, it is a call to happy marriages  where each spouse rushes to fulfill the rights and desires of the other.

This is the exception, too: scholars explain that particular rulings must  be understood in the context of general rulings, for affirming one matter does not entail negating another.

Given this, such ‘rights’ must be understood within the clear context of  the Qur’anic command to “live together in excellence,” and the words of the  Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) that,
The most perfect of believers are those most perfect of character; and the  best of you are the best of you to your spouses.” [Tirmidhi, Ibn Hibban]

The best of you are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you with  my wives.”           [Ibn Hibban]

And of His signs is this: He created for you spouses from yourselves that ye might find rest
in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo! herein indeed are portents  for folk who reflect. 
(Quran 30:21)
And Allah alone gives success.
Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,

(source: sheikh Faraz Rabbani at
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Masturbation in Islam
Allah (Exalted is He) says: “And those who guard their private parts from their wives and those (slave-girls) which their right-hands own - so there is no blame upon them. Then whoever seeks beyond that (which is lawful), they are the transgressors”.
Masturbation is also considered as “seeking beyond” with reference to the Quranic verse above.
Suhail son of Sai’d (may Allah be pleased with them) narrates that the Holy Prophet (Allah’s’ Grace & Peace be upon him) said: Whoever gives me the assurance (not to unlawfully use) what is between their jaws and their legs (i.e. the tongue and the private parts), I give them the assurance of the Heaven. (Bukhari)
Abu Hurrairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Prophet of Allah (Allah’s Grace & Peace be upon him) said: Whoever Allah protects, from the evil (sh’r) of what is between their jaws and between their legs, will enter Paradise. [Tirimzi]
Imam Shamsuddin Zahabbi (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates a Prophetic narration that, “Seven people are such that Allah has cursed them and He will not even cast a look of mercy upon them on the Day of Judgment. Allah will tell them to enter Hell with the people who are going to Hell, except those who repent.
1. One who performs the act of sodomy.
2. One upon whom the act of sodomy is performed.
3. One who does bad deeds with animals.
4. One who marries his mother or sister.
5. One who masturbates.” (The words of the hadith says these seven people but lists five - Kitab-ul-Kaba’ir p.48)
Allama Mahmood Alussi (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates in Ruh-ul-Ma’ni: “Atta (may Allah be pleased with him) says that I have heard that on the Day of Judgment one group will be brought in such a way that their hands will be pregnant. I think they are the masturbators.” Allama Alussi further says: SaĆ©ed bin Jubayr (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Prophet (Allah’s Grace & Peace be upon him) said: “Allah Exalted will inflict punishment on a group of people because they misused their private parts.” (Ruh-ul-Ma'ni p. 291)
Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Prophet of Allah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “The person who performs marriage [nikah] with his hands (i.e. masturbates) is cursed.” (Fatawa Razaviyya, Vol. 10, p.80)
Abdullah bin Masood (may Allah be pleased with him) reports that the Holy Prophet (Allah’s Grace & Peace be upon him) said: “O group of youth! Whoever from among you can marry should do so because it keeps the gaze low and it protects the private parts. And he who cannot marry should fast because fasting breaks lust.” (Muslim – Book of Marriage)
Mufti Waqar-ud-din Al-Qadri (Hanfi) writes in “Waqar-ul-Fatawa” (Vol. 1, P. 269): “If a person is overpowered by sexual desire such that there is fear of him becoming involved in adultery or he is not capable of marrying or his wife is so far that he can't go there. Then it is hoped there is no punishment for the one doing this [masturbation]. It is written in “Durr-e-Mukhtar” (Vol. 2, Pp 109) (by Sheikh Alla’ud Din Muhammed son of Ali Haskiffi, died 1088H): ‘If there is fear of committing adultery then it is hoped that there is no punishment on the one doing this (masturbation)’. Allama (Syed Mohammed Amin Ash-Shaheerba Bin Abideen) Shammi, (may Allah’s mercy be upon him, died 1253H) has also argued on this quite a lot and decided that if he does this with the intention of saving himself from committing sin it will not be a sin and if he does it with the intention of enjoyment he will be a sinner.”
The Holy Prophet (Allah’s Grace & Peace be upon him) said, "No doubt the virtues wipe away the sins". Therefore a masturbator must repent sincerely with an intention that he will never commit it again and do good deeds. According to a Prophetic narration, "The one who repents is like the who does not have any sin."
---Courtesy: on behalf of Kaukab Siddique (

Friday, March 1, 2013



A Non Muslim came to a Sheikh  (SheikhMumtaz Ul Haq) and asked: Why is it Not Permissible in Islam for a Woman to shake hands with a Man?
The Sheikh said: Can you shake hands with Queen Elizabeth?
The Non Muslim said: Of course not, there are only certain people who can shake hands with Queen Elizabeth....
Sheikh replied: Our Women are Queens and Queens do not shake hands with strange men.
Then the Non Muslim asked another Question: Why do your Girls cover up their body?
The Sheikh smiled and got two sweets; he opened the first one and kept the other one closed. He threw them both on the dusty floor and asked the Non Muslim: If I asked you to take one of the sweets which one will you choose?
The Non Muslim replied: The covered one.
The Sheikh said: That's how we treat and see our women. Women should not be like the Moon which everyone can see and Admire, they should be like the Sun which makes the Viewers Lower their Gaze.
Non Muslim: Show me God if he exists.
Sheikh Replied: Look at the Sun
Man Replied: I can’t see, the Rays hurt my eyes. Sheikh Said: If u can't look at the Creation of God then how will you be able to look at the Creator??
Lastly the Non Muslim invited the Sheikh to his house and gave him Grapes, the Sheikh ate them, then he offered him a cup of wine, the Sheikh refused, the Non Muslim asked him how come you Muslims are forbidden wine and eats grapes although the wine came from grapes?
Sheikh Replied: Do you have a daughter?
He said yes, the Sheikh asked him could you marry her. The Non Muslim said no, the Sheikh said Subhan Allah; you marry her mother and can't marry her although she came from her too.---Courtesy---Naseer Din (Facebook).